Kinship carer

In my professional life, I had contact with adults who had been in foster care and needed the help of mental health services; families whose children were to be taken into foster care (or adopted); and social workers who were working in childcare. All persons involved found that such situations were worrying, stressful and distressing.

However, it was after I was asked to take in my grandchildren that I felt the full impact of what it really means to be a carer of a child who has been taken away from home because for one reason or another they are deemed to be not safe in the one place that should be their fundamental place of safety.

I have to say that the social workers were kind and understanding but they had work to do, our case being one of many. In spite of their best efforts, we had to try to negotiate the bureaucracy that is inevitable with large organisations that have to comply with many directions and policies.

I, and the children, felt rather isolated and lost. Together we got on with the practical issues, like sorting bed space, getting clothes, etc. There were meetings upon meetings, but still we all felt a sense of isolation – no one else we knew was in this situation, so we were floundering rather. I also felt a huge emotional burden, as did the children.

It so happened that one of the many, many meetings was held in the Roots building. Our lives and outlook changed from that day.

The children now attend many of the activities – meeting and socialising with other children in a similar situation. It seems to somehow normalise their experiences in many ways. They also learn some life skills and, very importantly there is always an independent ear willing to listen and advise.

As for me as a carer and a grandparent, I find the organisation invaluable in ways that it is hard to articulate. Meeting other carers, hearing their experiences and getting advice on where and how to get practical help is to be treasured. The staff are also available with an empathetic listening ear. Having teenagers and pre-teens in the house is disconcerting enough, but having those with a traumatic history adds more layers to their experiences of growing up in a challenging world. 

To be able to express worries and concerns to someone with confidence that you will be heard with understanding and care is incalculable.

Roots provides all of that for all care experienced people whether child or carer. They provide emotional and practical enrichment for those who may feel they have no ‘roots’ of their own. 

Sue